I am sure most of us who have a large hearing family and get to be invited for their thanksgiving dinner. You probably don't want to go because they probably aren't able to communicate with you since they don't know sign language but they tell you that family is important to be together on that day.
Today's Controversial Question:
Do we need to be polite to attend the dinner and suffer the ordeal of unable to communicate with anyone for a long time?
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15 comments:
Many people invite their deaf friends over which are welcome by their families. It's a win win situation. The families get together and the deaf don't feel isolated.
I go and mingle at first, help out with setting the table, etc. After dinner, I park on the couch with a book. This is when the ladies are chatting away in the kitchen and the men watching some ball. Umm, hello? I decided not to be frustrated anymore and indulge in a novel. I even had a relative ask me why I'm always reading and not talking. I kindly explained to her that people forget I'm there or they do their own thing.
yes and no... depend how supportive your family are.
Mine is ok.. We tried. Lucky for me, I have a beautiful Deaf family and would not be bored. My hearing family will be quizzing us on what we are talking about but most of the time they leave us alone because we don't get into their conversation much.
I just want to be there for my parent as they are getting old. 82 and 78 so I want to spend some time with them.
I grew up in hearing family. I felt like I am an invisible to them. Maybe you should speak out how you feel because I wish I had speaked out many years ago to my family how I feel but my parents died few year ago due to old age. I am too late. If I speaked out when I was young, I would have learned a lot about my family's rich history stories, their childhood stories, their young stories and grandparents' stories of their lives. I looked back and I missed a lot of those stories that I should have known by now but I have known so little about my parents and grandparents' lives. It is sad. I hope it is not too late for you. I am nearly 60 now.
JMA
My worst Thanksgiving was in the late 1970s when I was around 20. My parents were going away, so my brother and his wife brought me to have dinner with his wife's family. Not only did no one talk to me, I wasn't even introduced to anyone. I didn't even know who these people were. Just sat there and wished for time to speed up so I could go home.
Fortunately, my deaf husband and I visited family members' house with my two kodas which it keeps me company during Thanksgiving day. my hearing family have limited communication. My 3 sisters always try so hard to communicate with me. I always teach them sign language.
Try to be enjoy yourself and teach asl to your family. it was helpful for me. OR you can bring the scrabble game with your family.
Thanks for bringing it up the good topic.
Hope you re enjoying your thanksgiving dinner
I try to spend thanksgiving with my dad's family- they ensure that I am participating in everything from setting table, cooking, conversation to playing card games with everyone. Very much unlike mom's family where I'd end up watching television or read a book such as "The Stand".
Interestingly, my husband's family (a hearing family with no deaf people whatsoever) signs better than my own. So I prefer to spend the holidays with them instead of with my own family.
2 locations today
#1 dinner was at a Catholic Church assembly room where they had dozens of deaf and disabled people and the band had both heavy bass and visuals for the deaf. It was a very cheerful lunch.
I stopped by my moms to say hi and give the relatives their due hugs and then left.
#2 dinner was at a hospital where we do our marketing outreach and where we met our CI clients.
It was a cheerful day for me today.
Not to mention I had another encounter with one of my cousins, the seemingly pro-ASL cousin, which makes the whole family affair a boring one.
Couldn't care much about being with my family for the holidays; if it was important for them to have me part of it, they'd learn sign.
In the end, deafies are the only family you need.
After countless years of spending all my holidays with my hearing family, I arrived at a clever compromise: I spend Thanksgiving with my Deaf family, and Christmas with my hearing family. To give them credit, everyone in my immediate family tried to learn sign language, or at least fingerspelling, and my mom even took sign language class twice. The problem is that I'm the only deaf person they know, so other than once or twice a year, they don't get to practice ASL, and forget most of what they learn. My sisters and dad are good about including me in the conversation. I can lipread them pretty well, and their "oral interpretation" helps, but is still no substitute for direct communication. After a few hours of lipreading, I'm exhausted and retreat to a quiet room with a good book. Larger family gatherings are more difficult, but they do try. I even have an elderly aunt who, despite a stroke that affected her dominant right hand, willingly wrote notes in her shaky left-handed writing about what everyone was talking about. Sweet, isn't it? I'm lucky to have family members who are such good-hearted people. I can't fault them for their sincere intentions and good effort, circumstances are what they are. Tolerance on my part is required too. Some of my deaf friends hire interpreters for the day.
I grew up in hearing family. I was very very isolated. I always cried when no one talked to me. I married a wonderful deaf man and he has a deaf family whose I love dearly. For the four years, I refused to go to Thanksgiving dinner with my hearing families, I hosted only deafies and I enjoyed it very much until my Koda son told me that he missed seeing his cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma so I decided to go after that to make my two Kodas happy. It's only once a year so I can bear with it.It's very important that my deaf husband to be there so he can keep me company.
MOSTLY TIMES WHEN I HAVE HEARING FAMILY ALL MY LIFE AND MOSTLY TIME I KEEP SIGN LANGAUGE COMMUCATION WITH MY PARENT AND MY SISTER IN LAWS AND MOSTLY TIME I KEEP WATCH FOOTBALL ON TV EVERY YEARS JUST FOCUS THE GAMES. SOMETIMES WHEN MY STRANGE THRU MY FAMILY FREIND COME OVER AND I KEEP GOING SIGN LANGAUGE UNDERSTAND SLOW DOWN BUT HIGH THINGS IS TALK LOTS AND I JUST STOP AND USE SIGN LANGAUGE AND THEY WATCH ME AND LEARN AND I SURPRISE MY SISTER IN LAWS LEARN FAST PICK UP SIGN LANGAUGE DUE ALWAYS WATCH YOU WHAT YOU DO ? THAT HOW I OPEN COMMUCATION I SAID NO MATTER IF YOU TALK I USE SIGN LANGAUGE COMMUCATION WITH YOU OR GET LOST AND THEY SAID NO NO YOU ARE MY PART FAMILY THEN TALK TO ME SMILE AND SOMETIMES THEY LIKE QUIET AND WATCH GAMES I RESPECT THAT SAME I KEEP QUIET TOO. HAPPY THANKSGIVING WEEKEND
I grew up in hearing family. I enjoyed company with my little nephews and neices at Thanksgiving.
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